Why not us?
I find it really inspiring to hear interviews with people all across the world who are seeing God move through Disciple Making Movements. Their collective witness encourages me, challenges me and renews my faith that God can move here, in our city, in the people groups around us that we are praying for him to reach.
But, if I’m honest, there is a bitter taste that creeps into my heart and mind in the hours after I’ve heard incredible stories from my brothers and sisters who are seeing movements of disciples making disciples. I’m learning to recognise that sneaky seed of doubt and to give it a name. It is called insecurity.
I find myself examining my life and interactions from the past week and questioning – Did I do that well? Did I say that right? Did I miss an opportunity? And then I begin to compare my life to the lives of the people who I admire and I start to think – Have I done enough? Have I prayed enough? Why would God ever use me?
There’s nothing wrong with asking myself questions – I always have more to learn and there are always people ahead of me on the journey who can help me to live more like Jesus.
But these questions are all leading me to one person – me. And when they become the only questions I’m asking, they lead me to put my hope in one place – myself.
As Chris and I have begun to train to live as disciples who make disciples, God has been connecting us with many other christians in our city, nation and across the world who he is leading to live in the same way. He wants us to see that he is at work, that he is in charge, and that it is his idea to pray for movements in our cities and nations. We are playing a very small part in an enormous move of God and when we open our bibles to see who God uses to play parts in his story we soon realise a simple truth: God can use literally anyone.
This truth brings me peace that quietens my nagging insecurity more easily than anything else. If God wants to start a movement here in Bradford, why not use us? Does he use us because we are ready, perfect, fully formed, because we have all the answers or never make mistakes? No. He uses us because
“he is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” (Ephesians 3:20)
In fact, he has a great track record of using the least, the most broken, the impulsive, the overlooked, the sinners, the scared, and the ignorant to play their part in seeing his kingdom come here on earth. Looking at that list, I’m a perfect candidate for his team!
And this changes how I pray, how I listen and how I respond to God – none of the things I am dreaming and praying for depend upon me. But I am delighted to play my part, to learn more about God every day as I see him at work in my life and the lives of others, and to offer what little I have in worship to him, so that I might see his name lifted high in this place.
When doubt and insecurity come knocking at my door, I am learning to respond – Why not me? Why not us? Our God is able.
Lisa and her family are very proud to live in the beautiful city of Bradford where they are learning to make disciples who make disciples. Together with their church planting team, they are seeking to spend time in God’s word, live among the lost and pray more and more as they look to see where God is moving.