From Surviving to Thriving: Adjusting to Life and Work Cross-Culturally. An Unreached Network Collaboration
This post was born out of a discussion during one of our Unreached Network Internship and Foundational Training training sessions. It encompasses reflective lived experience from those who had traveled, moved, worked and lived cross culturally. We are grateful for their contribution.
When you move to a new culture, especially for cross-cultural missions or work, the change can be overwhelming. Everything is different — from the obvious like snakes, frogs, cockroaches, to the less visible but more deeply felt aspects of life like climate, noise, power cuts, or even bathroom cleanliness. What follows is not just a physical relocation, but a journey of the heart, mind, and soul.
The Adaptation Curve
The journey of adjusting cross-culturally often follows a pattern represented in the adaptation curve above. You begin with a honeymoon period, full of curiosity and excitement. But confusion quickly sets in, followed by frustration and anger as the reality of cultural differences sink in. Eventually, if you allow yourself to lean into the process, you move toward understanding, acceptance, and even embracing the new culture.
It’s at this point you’ll find yourself at a crossroads: will you merely survive, dive into disillusionment, or rise to a place of thriving? We’ve found that being aware of the process helps you to understand and adapt to what is going on around you. It can also be useful for those who are supporting to understand the process too, and to refer you to a specialist if you need support.
Embrace, Let Go, and Adapt
Embracing the Culture
One of the hardest yet most beautiful lessons I learned was the need to let go of what I brought with me — whether that was expectations of clean bathrooms or quiet evenings — and embrace the culture I was now part of. That meant accepting the heat, the power cuts, the noise, and even the chaos.
With time, this letting go made space for something new and beautiful. I began to see the richness in the community, the warmth in relationships, and the strength in people who face hardships with joy.
The Importance of a Prayer Team
This journey isn’t easy. Having a dedicated prayer team was a lifeline. Especially with time zone differences, I often found that when I was struggling in the night, someone back home was awake and praying. Knowing you are not alone in your hardest moments brings incredible strength and peace.
Redefining Productivity
Cross-cultural work challenged everything I had learned in my career. In the West, we prioritize tasks over relationships. But I quickly discovered that in my new setting, relationships came first — every time. Work happened slowly, organically, and communally. Efficiency had to take a back seat to connection.
This shift also meant I had almost no time to myself. Where previously, a walk to the shop gave me headspace, now, I was never allowed to walk alone — it was a gesture of care, but one that sometimes felt suffocating. These small things add up, like pressure in a cooker, and I had to find new ways to release that pressure in healthy ways that fit the culture.
Transformation Through Humility
I also had to confront my own desire for others to change — to adapt to me. But over time, God gently reminded me: “I sent you to be My hands and feet.” That required me to change — to lay down my ways and embrace something new.
As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 9:
“I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.”
(1 Corinthians 9:22)
Cross-cultural ministry is a calling to deep humility. We depend on God not just for strength, but even for the ability to love and engage with a culture we don’t fully understand.
Love That Transcends Culture
People will confide in insiders, but they’ll also talk to outsiders — if they feel truly loved. And they’ll listen, even to hard truths, if they know you love them in a way that makes sense to them, in their own culture.
“Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible…”
(1 Corinthians 9:19)
Depending on God, Always
In the midst of all this, I’m reminded of Psalm 44:
“I put no trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies… In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.”
This journey has brought me to a place of deep dependence on God. Not just for provision or protection, but for the ability to change, adapt, and love in a way that honors Him and the people He’s placed in my life.
Final Thoughts: Embracing Change to Thrive
Whether you’re working overseas, volunteering cross-culturally, or adjusting to a new community, remember the adaptation curve. There will be highs and lows. You will feel lost. But if you persevere, lean on God, and open your heart to love others in their way — you won’t just survive.
You’ll thrive.
